destroy-wifi:

tupacabra:

neanerbeaner:

tupacabra:

people who say “melk” instead of milk

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I say melk…

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kamikazeworld:

fantasticsteve:

ohyousourwolf:

Why is it that evil villains always find poison to inject into their victims like just literally fill the syringe with air and just stick the needle between their toes or something. It’ll mimic a heart attack and the victim will die pretty quick and NO ONE WILL ASK MANY QUESTIONS BECAUSE IT’LL LOOK LIKE A HEART ATTACK

first of all how do you know this information i feel like the government doesnt want you to know that

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mindlikefire:

gypsycurrency:

Fun new drinking game: Anytime a guy brings up going to the gym for no reason, drink an entire bottle of vodka and smash him over the head with the empty bottle

Life rule. 

deducingbucky:

thecapn:

one time i came off anesthetics in the hospital and i convinced myself that i didn’t exist outside of the internet and when they tried to get me to drink something i screamed ‘i’m just a blog’ at them and they made my mom come calm me down and for some reason they filled up a rubber glove with warm water to help with something idk but the nurse gave it to me and said ‘this is your boyfriend now’ and when they took it away i started crying 

what the fuck

(Source: penisanxiety)

buckoftheirish:

tumbledore-:

gohomemccall:

my dad is a senior software engineer at Google
this is his work laptop

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he takes it to company meetings

I’ve been told he has received many compliments

Marry him.

did
did you read the post

(Source: nbhcannibal)

ikea-graveyard:

Okay this white dude had a black girlfriend and they were walking by me and the dude said, “you know what babe, realtors are so lazy when it comes to financing” and she literally replied with, “why do you have to talk about the most boring shit, Steve”.

Let’s make the Flubber movie cover the most reblogged picture on Tumblr.

insanitys-love:

mymompickedthisurl:

thewinchesterswagger:

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HOW IS THIS THE FIRST TIME I’VE SEEN THIS IT’S ALMOST AT 10 MILLION WTF

Yes let’s do it for him.

(Source: mspandrew)

tastefullyoffensive:

Thanks for noticing

tastefullyoffensive:

Thanks for noticing

urbanmongoose:

Normal cats shake their butt when they’re about to pounce on something. Polly shakes her head.

urbanmongoose:

Normal cats shake their butt when they’re about to pounce on something. Polly shakes her head.

richardcreech:

MY FRIEND JUST WENT OUT FOR DINNER AND THIS MOTHERFUCKER TURNED UP AT THE WINDOW LIKE HE HAD A FRICKING RESERVATION
GOD DAMMIT AUSTRALIA

richardcreech:

MY FRIEND JUST WENT OUT FOR DINNER AND THIS MOTHERFUCKER TURNED UP AT THE WINDOW LIKE HE HAD A FRICKING RESERVATION

GOD DAMMIT AUSTRALIA

spicy-vagina-tacos:

accidentally walking in on your friends getting yelled at

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crunkellove:

the-girl-who-laughed:

IN THE FIFTH GIF HE PATS THE CUPS WITH HIS LITTLE PAWS TO MAKE SURE IT’S IN. BRB, DYING.

ARE YOU KIDDING? LOOK AT THE 7TH GIF HOW HE JUST HANDS THE CUPS TO THE PERSON AND IS LIKE, “HERE HUMAN, YOUR FEEBLE TASK FOR ME IS COMPLETE. NOW LEAVE US BE.”

THEY’RE SO CUTE, OMG. I CAN’T.

THE GREATEST THING ON THE INTERNET SINCE THE LAST TIME OTTERS WERE IN A THING ON THE INTERNET.

(Source: nocrimeinthewasteland)